I love birthdays. Both my own and those of my friends and family. I love to celebrate them and make them special for others. This life is so precious, and aging is a luxury not afforded to all. April was birthday month for me. That’s right, birthday month…typically I take the week off to do something nice for myself, but this year it got extended by the amazing people in my life. People, who a couple years ago, I didn’t even know.
The theme of the yoga class I taught last night was “Gratitude”. It is the reason I felt compelled to write this today. It was my invitation to my class to spend a few minutes a day writing down 3 things that they were most grateful for that day. I was having my coffee this morning and was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. My heart, and my life are so full. And just a couple years ago, that was not the case.
I was living small. Not intentionally. Actually, rather unconsciously. And then I woke up. It was birthday week 2 years ago that I snapped into the realization that I felt numb. I felt broken. I have spent nearly 18 years in a career trying to help people who aren’t at a place where they are ready to accept it. I worked in an environment with so much negativity. Watching other humans physically harm themselves and others, including those there to help, on a weekly, if not daily basis. Watching my Brothers and Sisters break physically and emotionally, unsupported by their employer and sometimes mocked by their coworkers. Years of running into the danger every time the alarm sounded, bracing myself for what I would have to see. I was jaded, cynical, guarded and angry. So angry. The worst part was that I wasn’t leaving the negativity at work. I had let it leach into my home life. I was triggered by noises others took no notice of. Sounds of children playing, the squeak of sneakers on the floor, or the dropping of a cup on the floor. This hypervigilance of being stuck in fight or flight, week in week out…and with no support from those who were supposed to help. Being told, “(they) really need to tighten up their rules on PTSD diagnoses. They give them out like candy. Anyone can just go to their doctor and get written off”.
Today, a year after graduating my Yoga Teacher Training, investing all my free time into learning about the effects of stress and trauma, and prioritizing my Self Care, I am ready to let go of my old story. I am no longer broken. I no longer feel numb. I am not living small anymore. The scope of this hit me today as I read the post of one of my doTERRA team members. Yet another reason to be eternally grateful. This company and these oils have changed my life. Not only do I have a way to give back, to help people, (who are ready and want it), to heal myself; I have an opportunity to live the life I want. I can break out of living pay check to pay check, I can be my own boss, I have time and financial freedom and to create the resources to build Mind Body Whole Wellness Centre and share with others the lessons that have brought Freedom and Abundance to my life.
I am learning to let go. I’m learning that our physical ailments and disease are tied to emotions we are holding on to, whether on purpose or subconsciously. I am learning that our minds, bodies and spirits are so beautifully interwoven. That we can find release from our negative emotions whether we start with moving our bodies, searching our thoughts or silent moments being present in our Self.
Which brings me back to this morning. Gratitude. For this life. For the blessing of growing older. For healing. For finding my way to being the person I was meant to be. For the space to grow into my gifts. For the ability to love and forgive myself.
I am here to do great things. So are you. We all are.
I am sending out love. And thanks. To this abundant and powerful universe that loves and cares for us all. It calls softly. It connects us all. It is in every one of us, waiting to be given the time to be heard. We have these passions placed inside us. These gifts, these talents, these things that make it feel like time stands still.
Two years ago, I started listening. For that, and all that has unfolded since…GRATITUDE